Racism aside, can we just be civil?
What is it about some of us that we can not be civil to one another? This question is prompted by
an article I just read from The Associated Press, concerning the upcoming trial in New York of Heather Ellis. Ms. Ellis is an African-American and nearly three years ago, she was involved in an altercation in the Wal-Mart in Kennett, Missouri. She allegedly cut in line at one of the checkouts and things went south in a hurry. The incident resulted in charges of resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer for Ellis.
From the accounts that I have read, Ellis was not satisfied with the speed of her checkout line, so she decided to join her cousin in another. This involved placing her merchandise in front of someone who was already in line at the checkout. Depending on the account you read or believe, someone shoved someone else and the police were called in. Of course, the shoving match involved her and a white woman. Can you see where I am going with this?
Here is what the court documents have to say about the incident.
Police say in court documents that Ellis refused requests to calm down and leave the property, allegedly kicking one’s shin and splitting another’s lip while resisting arrest. Her trial on charges of assaulting police officers, resisting arrest and disturbing the peace begins Wednesday in Dunklin County Circuit Court. Syracuse, N.Y.-based Your Black World Coalition is organizing a Monday rally in Kennett.
I do not know what happened in the Wal-Mart store on January 6, 2007. Regardless of who is at fault here, whether it be the police in Kennett or Heather Ellis, it pains me to think that a situation as simple as this, between two adults, could come to a trial and charges of racism. The NAACP and Your Black World Coalition have even become involved.
I bemoan the fact that a lot of our citizens can not seem to get along with each other. It’s not just between African-Americans and white Americans, but all of us. There is someone down the street from us who left a note on our door one day, telling us our little white Poodle was running loose in their yard. It’s not true, as he is out only to go to the bathroom or when we are outside. They have even accused him of trying to bite them, even though he doesn’t have a mean bone in him and only one tooth in his mouth. It would be easy to go down the street and straighten those folks out, but it would accomplish only one thing. I would make someone who insists on being angry at me even angrier. I choose instead to just ignore them and make sure our dog goes nowhere near their yard.
Was there racism involved? Maybe so, but at the same time, could the entire scenario have been avoided if Ellis would have simply joined the line in the back, instead of cutting in front of someone? Then again, maybe the woman she cut in front of could have simply allowed her to do so without causing such a fuss. Again, can you see where I am going with this?
I find it completely ludicrous for a situation like this to have to go to trial. As I said, I do not know who is really at fault here, but wouldn’t there have been a much simpler and more civil solution to this than two women throwing a fit and someone getting their shin kicked and their lip split? As the picture suggests, racism divides American, no matter if it is real or just perceived.
Just something to ponder during the day.
I’ve had this happen at stores including Wal Mart and both white and black have been guilty of cutting in line and I must tell you that something in me will not allow that. It isn’t right that some feel they are able to do that and get away with it, many however will say nothing and let the line jumpers have they way—I will not. How about you LD what is your take. Do you take the back seat and let others trash your rights or do you take a stand for whats right. Its never easy to do the right think and in this case if you just sit back and say well it doesn’t hurt anything then you are in for a bigger hurt down the road. You are not a better man for stepping aside, but a lesser man. Interested to hear your take.
Ron Russell´s last blog ..The Scent of Power
Well, I certainly didn’t mean to imply that we should just let someone trample our rights without speaking up. Sometimes, I have the problem of speaking up too much and that has gotten me in trouble before. I think there is a time and a place to speak up and there is a time and a place to be silent.
I don’t know how many of you were fans of “Happy Days” but back in college days we used to watch it all the time. There was an episode when The Fonz was trying to admit he wrong about something but he just couldn’t force the words from his mouth. So it came out , “I was wrrr……”, “I was wrrroooo……” as he struggled to admit his error. Well, today I find myself in a similar position but I will try.
Ron, I agrrrr……. That is, I aggggrrrrrr……. Well, okay, I don’t think Ron is completely wrong. The question, after making your position very clear, is what do you do next. It sounds like the person who made an issue of the cutting in line became involved in the scuffle but we don’t know who initiated it. I think the proper next move would have been to insist to the cashier that they not serve the person who cut in line while at the same time trying get a manager involved. But I don’t see much value in completely backing down and allowing the cutter in line without a comment making it loud and clear for all around that the person has violated the code of “the line.” Civility has a paramount place in keeping our society, well, civil. Those who break the trust of our communal rules need to be outed not accomodated.
LD, thats about all I can do these days with my age and health, I do point out in a loud voice what the the offender (the one who feels entitled) has done. As for the cashier, I would never waste my breath on what would be a futile effort. In my youth I would push right back ahead of the offender, but these days few will do that and cringe from putting themselves in that position. If more would stand up for their rights their would be fewer trying to take them away. Things have changed and what you see as a lack of civility is a reaction to those who feel entitled, those who would trample the rights of others, in short a backlash to the years and years of political correctness. Yes the push back in here and I’m glad to see its birth.
Ron Russell´s last blog ..Promoting Jihad From Prisons
You are right, Ron. There are many people who feel they are entitled to do just about whatever they want. When it comes to those people, I have a problem keeping my mouth shut. No matter what their color or race or how wealthy they are, they still put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you and I do.
The feeling of entitlement is rampant in many groups and certainly amoung many blacks, but not all. My son-in-law is black and a very successful business man who if anything is more conservative that I, if thats possible. He is very quick to condemn those in the balck community who sit with hands out waiting for “Obama Money” and “Obama favors”. I was in the beginning very resistant to his marriage with my daughter many years ago, boy was I wrong. I now have a 16 year old grandson by him and no teen-ager I’ve ever met can hold a candle to him—-he listens when you talk and seriously tries to understand where you are coming from, not like most teenagers where its all about “ME”. I too, often let my mouth overload my ass, but its too late to change now. You are a thinker and thats a great quality. Will Rogers once said, “I never met a man I didn’t like”. I often wondered where that came from until one day it hit me—he looked for the good qualities in men and seldom focused on the bad.
Ron Russell´s last blog ..Promoting Jihad From Prisons
Well said, Ron. There really isn’t much I can say to add to what you have said. It sounds like I would really like to meet your grandson. I’ll bet he is one fine young man.
You know, we all learned in grade school that you can’t cut in line. We also learned how to handle the situation when someone does.
That this degenerated into a brawl that involved the police tells me that no one here had the brain fully engaged.
First, obviously it’s wrong to cut in line. If the other line is moving faster, then you just deal with it. I’ve learned to joke about the fact that I inevitably jinx the person in front of me … the person in front of me will buy the one jar of peanut butter without a bar code, will realize his check book is empty, or will forget his PIN. It’s just how life works. It’s kind of funny, really … even if one or both of the kids has lost patience with shopping. When it’s all said and done … just how big a hurry are you in to get out of the store and wait in traffic?
Second, let’s say someone does cut … is it worth a fight? Really? Just how big a hurry are you in to … well, … you get the idea.
Third, these advocacy groups need to sit this one out. My pastor often says that sometimes Christians get in trouble not because they’re persecuted as Christians, but because they’re jerks. It sounds like this woman got into a scuffle not because she’s African-American, but because she acted like a jerk. If the person in front of whom she cut was a racist, then I can see how it escalated so quickly, but we’re still talking about the kind of behavior one would expect from third graders, not adults.
This is one of those times when I wish that people would just grow up.
Wickle´s last blog ..Two Videos My Son Wants to Share
I’m with Wickle on this one. Frankly, my spot in line isn’t a hill to die for. It’s not really a “right” I feel the need to fight over.
MuskogeePolitico´s last blog ..Charter Review Committee – First Meeting Tomorrow
I have to agree with Wickle and Muskogee on this one. Getting cut on in line isn’t really the “hill I want to die on” either. And I think I agree with everybody that the NAACP and other groups not only don’t belong in this dispute, they cheapen their causes in being their.
I have an aunt- every inch a lady-who once put my sister and I in our place and said something to me that reverberates even now. We were at a grocery store with her. A very rude and very large woman simply moved past us to get to the front of the line. We kids were incredulous, and loud about it, to say the least. My aunt shushed us with one stern look and an arch of her eyebrows, which was all she ever seemed to need to get her point across. When the big woman was finished checking out, my aunt smiled at her and told her that she hoped that she had a nice day.
My sister and I couldn’t wait to continue our whining in the parking lot, and I asked why she had let that fat, rude woman cut in line without saying anything. What a snot I was, and I was lucky I didn’t get the back of her hand as an answer. All my aunt did was stop, and say very seriously but with a twinkle in her eye: “Weight is something other people carry, girls”. And then we had ice cream and went to the park and had a great day ourselves.
It took me years to fully understand that my aunt wasn’t referencing the woman’s size at all. Rude people are everywhere; how you choose to deal with them and the discomfort they cause is up to you. Since then, I have chosen to let other people carry the weight of their own minor, if irritating, infractions and hold myself accountable only for my own reactions.
Plus, if I made my comment in today’s climate, I’d have the PAC B.B.W (Big, Beautiful Women) all OVER me.
Okay, the line thing. I have gotten to where I can let that slide. But handicap parking! Now that gets my goat. Mainly because I use the spots regularly especially on bad days and it infuriates me that people who don’t need them or have a placard, park there! So what do you guys thinks.
Hey Wickle, I think that makes 3 things we agree on now! LOL
Dominique´s last blog ..Sarah Palin: This is an atrocious decision.
Yes, Dominique- inapppropriate use of handicapped parking is an area where I think it’s a duty to call someone out. Probably dangerous, but it’s an area where a “right”- and a need- is being usurped for the pure convenience of the offender.
Alright, that makes four!
I’ve thought that the punishment for wrongful use of handicapped parking should be the amputation of a limb … or maybe that’s excessive … ; – )
Wickle´s last blog ..Two Videos My Son Wants to Share
It is always interesting to here people discuss handicapped parking spaces. My sister who is only 39 has a handicap placard that she hangs in her window when she parks. Now she does not use this placard all the time, but she does use it and sometime more often than she would like. My sister has been handicapped since she was 19 and to the rest of the world she looks, young and vibrant, but really that is not the case at all. My sister has had more hip replacement surgeries in five years than most elderly people have had in their lifetime and was told that she has the arthritis of a 75 year young woman. She has had close to 15 surgeries and will have to continue having them every 10 years until she leaves us. See both of my sister’s hips have implants in them and she has been through a lot, but you couldn’t tell from her attitude. She has never asked why god gave her such and illness when none of the doctors knew of it, just that he blessed her to live past that Christmas day in 1989 when the doctors told my parents that we needed to say our last goodbyes because she would not make it to see the next sunrise.
Sorry, I’ve gotten of the beaten path. What I wanted to say was just because you see someone who you feel shouldn’t have a placard doesn’t mean they shouldn’t. You see illness doesn’t see an age, and your years lived don’t determain who is worse off. Often times there will be someone much younger than yourself who has twice the amount of medical conditions. My sister would love to not have the privilege of parking in a handicapped parking space, has to. It was not god’s intentions for her to live the carefree life. She spends a lot of time seeing doctors and taking different medications before she can do the simplest things like get her teeth cleaned at the dentist.
I am responding to this post because often times she is harassed when she parks in handicapped parking spaces. All anyone sees is a young woman who is seemingly healthy, only if she was as healthy as they thought. Maybe next time you curse the person who is parking in the handicapped parking space you felt was for you, you question yourself, I wonder if just maybe that person needs it just as bad.
**This posting was not intended to offend anyone. It was intended to suggest that you be open minded to others who’s medical conditions are unknown to you. Thank you.
Lisa,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on Political Realities. I appreciate you doing so.
All I can say to your comment is touché. You are right when you say there may be times when the medical condition of a person with a handicap parking permit may not be immediately apparent to the casual onlooker. We should all be careful how we approach that kind of situation. Thanks for pointing that out to us.
I don’t know the details of this case but I do know that there seems to be a general rudeness and lack of concern for others nowadays, I don’t know where is comes from but Ron may have a point about the entitlement mentallity.
Mr Pink Eyes´s last blog ..John Thune will introduce a bill to stop the bailouts
It’s interesting that Dominique raised the handicap parking issue because when Larry raised the issue of cutting the line my mind immediately went to handicap parking. My father had polio and was in a wheelchair most of his adult life. This was at a time when there were no handicap spots so now that they are widely available, by law, I am very sensitive to people using them without need and I never hesitate to say something. I’ve had more than a few ugly confrontations about it but so be it — I won’t give up that fight. I take that attitude with me to other situations though I would absolutely never let it develop into an ugly situation as Larry described. I’ll make my point known and maybe go the next step to getting management involved but a scuffle is beyond my interest in imposing civility.
Yes, the handicap parking is a pet peeve of mine as well. My mother is handicapped, but even before she was, it was something that really grated on my nerves. Good for you for standing up for it.